Hotchkiss Student returns from New York with the Time Stone

After a run-in with the Ancient One, the anonymous Hotchkiss student, still fighting to start his relationship, has safely delivered the Time Stone back to the TMU Campus. The stone was delivered to RCSM where it is being looked after by Professor Joe Francis. A reporter with the Meandering Mustang was able to interview the student, who requested to remain anonymous.

“It was a crazy ride,” said Josh McDonald. “This Ancient One lady- she knew more spells than I did! And that’s saying something, with all the occult rituals that go on in the Hotchkiss basement.” 

The anonymous Hotchkiss male said that the Ancient One pushed his spirit out of his body for the duration of their discussion. “It was a trippy moment,” he said looking back on the incident. “I’ve only been that out of it after I drank 5 Monster energy drinks before Park Day. And when I was thrown in the freezing pool on my birthday. And when I ran through CDUB in nothing but my boxers as part of a tradition. You know what? In hindsight, I’ve been out of it a lot, actually.”

The student returned to the Hotchkiss basement after our discussion, citing the need to refresh himself on the Dark Arts. We were able to speak with Professor Joe Francis about the nature of the Time Stone.

“We are currently studying the effects of the stone, and will report back any irregularities we discover,” said the professor. Campus security has bolstered their presence in the space surrounding RCSM, in order to prevent any girls from Sweazy from using the stone during ‘Gotcha’ next year.

We are still waiting for the return of the other members of the Coronavirus Task Force. Subscribe to the Meandering Mustang for up to date information surrounding the mission

“Whatever it Takes” TMU Faculty assemble to take on Coronavirus

Life has been different since ‘the email.’ The roads of Placerita Canyon are now eerily quiet, and the campus is a ghost town. However, six TMU Faculty prepare to change that.

“We’ve assembled a team of highly gifted individuals to find the Infinity Stones and reverse the irreparable damage this virus has caused,” said Mike Nesheim, inventor of Trophy Coffee. Nesheim recently worked with Plant Ops to build a functioning Time Machine. The device currently sits inside the gym, waiting to be used by the Coronavirus Task Force.

Sam Horn filled us in on the details. “We lost. Some our friends, some our jobs. I told everyone that the beginning that this place could kill you. Well, it surely killed the good vibes on campus.” Sam wielded a massive 36-inch shield he said he forged himself in North Carolina. “Glad I finally have a use for it!”

Cathie suited up with her tasers that she uses to stop people stealing bagels from the caf. “I aim to keep my job; if going back in time with Mike and the rest of them is what it takes, then so be it.”

Harry Walls spoke with us as he retrieved his custom bow and arrow set from one of his four Lamborghinis. Walls, in light of recent events, has been training in various forms of judo and Krav Maga. “Our student body deserved better than to have to leave all their friends for the semester. That changes today."

A student from Hotchkiss, who wished to remain anonymous, has also joined the fight. “Oh, why am I going? I was about to ask this girl out right? Then all this happened. If I can’t reverse all this, our relationship is toast! That would make me angry. And believe me, no one likes Hotchkiss when we’re angry.” (The editors of this article would like to add that no one likes Hotchkiss in general.)

Dave Hulett, Dean of Men, wielded a sharp axe and stared at the empty gym, where only Nesheim’s machine sits. “Oh, I’m not just here for the students,” said Hulett as he chopped down a tree at Under the Oaks. “Tricia’s play must go on.” Hulett sported an eyepatch, though it is currently unknown whether he actually lost his eye.

Representatives of the Meandering Mustang were able to get exclusive access to the group’s departure. After a farewell from John Stead, who insisted that despite recent reports he is in fact okay, the group was sucked into the quantum realm. We are still waiting to hear back whether any have made it back from the past with the Infinity Stones. 

Subscribe to the Meandering Mustang for further updates on the situation.