Dr. Chou taken up into heaven by flaming chariot after accidentally discovering both the day and the hour of Christ’s Return

Reports came in today saying that TMU's very own hermeneutics genius, Dr. Abner Chou, has been physically escorted to the pearly gates after he accidentally discovered not only the day, but also the hour of Christ's return.

Dr. Beals reported that minutes before his departure, Dr. Chou came peacefully out of his office, silently smiling to himself. Beals reported that the short professor had been studying eschatology intensively the past few hours, specifically on the return of Christ. After walking down the hallway, the tranquil man reached out his hand to pat Beals on the shoulder, saying "It's my time now."

"That said enough" an emotional Beals later explained in an interview. "The only reason that ol' Abner would willing leave so quickly is if he learned something that he wasn't supposed to."

Dr. Chou reportedly led Dr. Beals out of their office and onto the empty baseball field. Soon after, the two were shocked by a bright light and the sound of hooves echoing across the sky. A flaming chariot soon landed with a whirlwind on the green grass before them.

"As the Lord lives, I will not leave you!" Beals emphatically stated, realizing the truth of his friend's departure.

"The integrity of scripture must not be compromised. This is the Lord's will" replied Abner.

"Please, let there be a double portion of your spirit on me after you leave!" Beals begged.

"As the Lord lives, it will be done. Are you with me on this?"

With those last words, Dr. Chou stepped into the chariot, and was taken up into heaven to be with his Lord.

The Meandering Mustang is still awaiting a response from The Masters University on how the institution will move forward in light of Dr. Chou's sudden departure.